Poetry Selections
We are the product
Of the stellar orgy
Of light and mass,
Bound together
By the will of the universe.
12 03 06
What must one do
When he can no longer get warm?
Though he seals himself
Behind tight windows and doors
The November wind,
Gathering cold
As it blows across the north;
The barren and snow covered fields
Of Saskatchewan,
Feels unconstrained
By my home’s thin protestations.
The cover of green life
That adorns this place in summer
Is gone,
An ashen gray mask in it’s place.
Where there was water
The hard unforgiveness of ice
Has taken it’s place.
Even the birds take on
A monochromatic hue,
All save the Cardinal
Who’s vibrant red coloring
Seems less to comfort
Than to mock
Reminding us of what is lost.
It is not bad enough
That we should suffer this
Fridged threat to our flesh
But we must do it in darkness,
Winter stealing the very hours of light
From the world.
Why do I stay in such a place
This gulag of unfortunate climate?
I think it must speak
Of a timidity of my enterprise.
Knowing that warm places exist
Peopled by similarly kindred,
And yet more intelligently motivated,
And certainly more comfortably clothed
Humans of my ilk,
I remain here
Shivering against the ever-present night
Fearful of the wind rattled windows
Wrapped in the woven fibers
Taken ungallantly
From wooly four-legged creatures.
Ceremoniously I plan
My short salvations
My quick forays to warm places,
That will somehow have to satisfy
This shivering spirit
And warm,
If only for a week,
These damn cold feet.
One
One, as a number, is so uncomplicated
There are no variations of one
One, singularly, is always what it is
simple, bold, alone.
Two, on the other hand,
cracks the egg of infinity
a binary cascade of possibilities
that gives life its' varied dimensions.
Let's marry our oneness together
and give birth to a playground for love.
Quiet
It would be perfectly quiet
save for the ubiquitous distant bowling of the giants, the waves cashing into rocks
and the crickets harmonizing a wallpaper of sound
and the occasional leaf falling dryly on the bricks
and the plaintive meow of a kitten
living a life of constant hello's and good-byes
and the soft sounds of a Gershwin tune
and water from your shower rolling through pipes
having had the pleasure of your body
save for this it would be perfectly quiet.
ING
In the water sunlight's glittering
In trees the birds are tittering
Everywhere butterflies are flittering
while I sit here considering,
frittering with my pen.
The palm fronds fluttering
the ocean's insistent muttering
the teal birds stuttering
surround me while I'm meditating
reminding me of you.
For Tessa
Last night I asked my love to join with me
to hand in hand create a future new
beneath the moon and near the shining sea
to me her heart she pledged forever true
two paths merging, engaging together
two life stories commingling as one
two hearts choosing each other forever
filing empty pages under the sun
I am a lucky man, it's true, so true
to find a love as wonderful as you
Salt
Salt in the ocean
And on the rim of my glass
and in the sweat of my brow, dripping, deliciously to my lips
and the lingering flavor of your kiss, you, walking from the ocean wringing your dark hair
and kisses from the full moon and the endless sun
and the smothering lips of the waves tonguing my muse
cleansing my spirit
like a god-kitten
cleansing his flock
New Years Eve 2004 10 lines
It is precisely at these times
Where I see in endings
the stuff of new beginnings
that I realize I am most alive.
Farewell good year that you were
I'm thankful for your gifts
of love and life and lack of loss
Welcome new year
I greet you in respect of your power
I bow, humbly, and ask your grace.
A Saturday Night 09 22
A Saturday night
when everything's sweet
A perfect evening
A sunset with bleeding tipped fingers
of radiating clouds
exploding across the sky
Only the mosquito-like annoyance
of occasional macho motorcycles
spitting sound like lead
from a pellet gun
in the distance
My body's chillin'
to a post endorphin skate
where a man who was
clearly by his nature
predisposed to sarcasm
gave me the thumbs up
and to the effects of
the first two glasses
of California's finest gift
to us flatlanders
And my mind is luxuriating
in the simple realization
of the deep breathed happiness and
sincere and grateful peace
filling my soul
A Little Too Late 05-04
You with your wicken ways
Cast your welcome to the corners
and for a moment
include me in your circle.
I only want
to ask your forgiveness,
to say I am sorry
for all the things
that were never said.
Lies are never more insidious
than in silence.
I must have worried you would leave me
or not love me
enough
or maybe I was just afraid
you couldn't
or wouldn't
take good enough care of me.
I'm quiet in my needs,
easy to receive from,
but you're right that I back up my options
and
that until the end
I never dared to trust only you.
I apologize, truly,
and I thank you mostly
for your example of honesty.
That, and all the life
I shared with you.
How you do what you do 10 02
I struggle
to build it straight enough
right enough
I struggle
to love the work enough
to make it worthy
I struggle
to find value in my efforts
to find enough
in every endeavor
to make it count
I struggle
to know what you taught me
that no matter what you do
it's about how you do it
It's not what it is
it's whether or not
it's the best it can be
I struggle
to find the value you found
in effort alone.
But
I have to tell you
I am teased
I am tempted
I am seduced
by the notion
that what you do matters
as much
as how you do it
Does that
separate me from you
Does that
make me a tree hugger
a true believer
a sissy to every sweet cause
that surfaces
Does that
make me weak in your eyes
a distraction
from what matters
A poseur, a pawn to cripples
embracing weakness
instead of strength
Am I evolved or devolved
Am I enlightened or dulled
Am I a friend of life
or it's worst enemy
Are we
destined to disagree, now,
into eternity
good bye 10 02
The only difference
is that now
when I imagine
what you might think
I don't have
the potential
to actually
ever know
Cutting wood 10 02
A sane person
sitting all day
cubicled
would think you are crazy
sweating
as you do
hauling wood
dancing with equine monsters
digging holes
in ground infested with boulders
changing the course of rivers
to please your eye
bringing water off the mountain
to flush your toilets
yea, you're crazy
all right
but crazy times
conjure crazy people
like you
who remember
what needs really are
what seduces the muscles of the body
what keeps your head
and your heart
and your spirit
alive
sanity is the illusion
effort is all that is real
sweat is the commodity
that funds
the truly living
A tree limb breaks
and you fall
cutting your leg
throwing your saw
to the side
but you get up
you limp or crawl
to wherever you need to be
you dress your wounds
you drink your luck
good or bad
you survive
yet again
That limb fueling
the fire
that warms you now
secure
with your vodka and orange juice
and the blood
no longer soaking your socks
you laugh
out loud
at fate
calling it's bluff
inviting it to drink
a drink with you now
in the warmth
of the fire
the limb provides
Every seven minutes feb 04
Every seven minutes a rosebud blooms
Every seven minutes love's gift's consumed
And a star does fall, and love rings true
Every seven minutes I think of you
Every seven minutes a wild stags' leap
Is frozen in the mind of sheep
I have fantasies of saying I do
Every seven minutes I think of you
Every seven minutes a solar flare
Illuminates the universe out there
And turns the black of night into blue
Every seven minutes I think of you
Every seven minutes the mind of man
Is reborn according to plan
And reminded of what he must do
Every seven minutes I think of you
Every seven minutes seems to take
An eternity and I can't fake
This longing and love I feel for you too
Every seven minutes I think of you
Every seven minutes a rooster crows
Fish dart, a volcano blows
And somewhere lover's vows renew
Every seven minutes I think of you
Every seven minutes I hear a song
That I can't help but hum along
Love and lust a potent brew
Every seven seconds I think of you
Every seven minutes your face I see
Your breath I smell and I want to be
In the center of what I know is true
Every seven minutes I think of you
Every seven minutes an electron fires
My brain awakes, your memory inspires
Thoughts of you that stick like glue
Every seven minutes I think of you
Every seven minutes I'm reminded anew
And rejoice in the fact that I know it's true
This realization that we'll never be through
Because every seven minutes I think of you
The Landscape of my life 02 04
A Northwestern jet will never look the same
Since I met sister Livia
And the neighborhood near 38th & Grand
Will always be
Where I left my gloves
And had to return to seek
Through the late night smell
Of breaking bread
Bejeweled stoppered bottles of wine
And votives making my table shine
Curtains hanging where once stood
A utilitarian door
Are just a few of the changes you've made
to the landscape of my life
A pile of love notes is stacked by my bed
Left under pillows by you
And a beautiful blue stone
Adorns the hole in my head
Reminding me always
Of what we've been through
I have tunes on my I-pod I 'd never have found
Shirts hang in my closet I'd never have worn
My hair smells of grapefruit
My heart's singing praises
Because of the changes you've made
to the landscape of my life
So many memories are etched in my mind
Of hot sulfured waters and rolling in snow
Of hot pink backpacks
The sweet smell of nutmeg
Waiting your arrival and watching you go
Dozens of faces I'd never have known
Now inhabit my world
Lighting dark corners
Sparkling
Like small lanterns in a cave
These are a few of the changes you've made
to the landscape of my life
Dogs named Lutsen I'd never have known
And thoughts of Thailand would never have grown
And long dark hairs would never have graced
My new linen pillows
And made them feel
So inviting, exciting, so full of peace
This smile on my face I see in the mirror
This love in my breast I feel when you're near
These are the gifts of the changes you've made
To the landscape of my life
To Tessa 12 23 03
Bookended births
In a Julian year
Roads converging
after the miles
anchored by smiles
arms embracing
facing the sun
squinting, glimpsing
futures unwritten
smitten by love
bitten by desire
like a raging fire
fingers writing poems
deliciously long
on skin exposed
bodies in repose
clothed in wishes
covered in kisses
this is elation
anticipation
suddenly feeling
like expectation
gratefully feeling
this consummation
Heart Wide Open 12 07 03
Eyes sparkling
Soul of a dappled glen
She smiles with her
Heart wide open
Pathology of Scars 11 29 03
For me: A flower of passion
left unintentionally
on my desert driveway
A reminder of sweetness
in a world seemingly less sensitive
An innocence with a knowledge of irony
A toast to my greatest fears
and wildest hopes
A chance to swim in warm waters of skin
A challenge to the pathology of my scars
A challenge to my opposing desires
for independence and comfort
An opportunity to become
better than I imagined
more powerful than I dared dream
happier than I thought possible
resolved in a way
never imagined
The Driver of the Nail 11 29 03
Asleep, passed out, oblivious
I am amazed at
finding myself not
beholden to your influence
but rather
in control of your fate
reluctantly
unintentionally.
You'll dance for me
beg from me
give me everything if I ask.
I'm only just realizing
you don't think you deserve
all the things you haven't earned
and probably you envy
the driver of the nail
that gives you roof
for the realness
of his endeavor
for the power he has
over his own reality
you envy the simplicity
of his mission
and the joy of
it's accomplishment
Beautiful Aquarian 11 03
Beautiful Aquarian
Revolution's Daughter
Ugly bags of
Mostly water
I was there
You know I know
Through good and bad
Through high and low
I was there
Watching the sun set
These things
I can't forget
You gave me music
I gave you words
We opened each other's
Respective worlds.
We buried pets
In the woods together
Even in bad times
We felt forever
Mazatlan moonlight
Havana's Malacon
Catch a Falling Star
Just one we wished upon
They say things change
Move on, move on
But some things you can't
Improve upon
Is it essential
To lose the best
When we could choose to
Forget the rest
Beautiful Aquarian
Revolution's daughter
Ugly bags of
Mostly water
Trying to be brave 11 03
Dangerous nights are looming
Winter's stealing the light
Time becomes abundant
Thoughts control the night
Activity clouds my thinking
Protects me like a cloak
But winter's rude disrobing
Shows me it's a joke
I'm a man without a torch
Entering a cave
Knowing there are monsters
Trying to be brave
Landmines 11 03
Exploding ideas
a need to express
to be understood
to be heard
to be heard
and understood
I miss these
moments of ecstasy
outpouring
of emotion
my lips to your ears
yours to mine
I can't seem to find
an outlet for
these same landmines
gathering
in my mind
Chocolate bar 10 03
With your love
I am
Like a child in war time
Given a Hershey bar
Nibbling one precious square at a time
Lingering on the sweetness
And the occasion,
The memories
And the promise.
Making it last
As long
As
Possible.
Owning this piece of your heart,
Allowed, in rare moments,
To suck on it's sweetness
Is so comforting
In this shell shocked world
That it is unimaginable
To me
To think, to believe
That I may have just swallowed
The last little square.
I search the wrapper
In disbelief.
Likewise Baby 09 03
Likewise baby
you make my cloud
glow
like sunshine
Hopeless Romantic 08 03
What need is this
crawling
beneath my skin
that craves the dance
the madness and happenstance
that arrives with
unexpected romance?
Pity the woman
hoping to transcend
this foolish pleasure
with me.
They had no chance
without romance
for exclusivity.
I am a slave to things
stronger than nicotine
more intoxicating
than mere cocaine
sweeter than sugar
and twice as nice
nothing less
could ever suffice
Tease me with distance
tease me with time
seduce me with promises
intrigue me with rhyme
Call me at night
from 1000 miles away
and whisper to me suggestively
while your fingers
are mine
and in the dark of my bed
I can bring you to light.
Taunt me with the timbre
of your late night whispering
make my body ache for you
and offer me
the promise of a time
when holding me
you can give yourself
totally (unceasingly) brazenly
and lovingly
to only me
and I'll measure myself
by what I might not be.
Happy Birthday 09 03
Today
the ring of my phone
sounded like your voice
uneasy, sure,
but validating the nine years
that carried me here.
I'm wrestling with the desire
to let you know
how hurt I am
that it never was your call.
I have the uncertain knowledge
that this is what
me not taking care of you
looks like.
Safe And Distant Love 08 03
Did I wish you into my life
My safe and distant love?
Did I need you so much
I conjured you
Electronic pen in hand
To send me strength
through wires?
Did I dream up our encounter
Holding hands beneath
The celestial battle
Of pregnant moon
And northern lights?
Did my wounded heart invent you
To heal its rips and rents
And nurse me from my wayward path
To live again
And love?
Did my weakened spirit
Awake your sleeping beauty:
Your opening eyes devoured me
Your sweet sleepy breath
Engulfed me
Your soft slow hands
Caressed me
And brought me back to life.
Whatever has created you
And brought you to my life
My spirit sings it's praises
My heart is filled with gratitude
My body dances poems to you
My safe but distant love.
Allow Me Mine August 2003
Ok, YES!
but...
yes, I want to love you
but...
what about...
I can so easily imagine
being ecstatic with you
being proud with you
being brave with you
but
what happens to this dream
of having it all?
You can't be everything to me
how do I mourn
losing
everything but you
without you
trying to own
the emotional opportunity
I
need
recognition
acceptance
that I am some things you like
and some you don't
if you choose me
you choose all of me
I
am
not
going to magically become
your fantasy man
close
will have to be
good enough
love me
like you would your child:
accepting
forgiving
recognizing that
they are what they are
I
am
what I am
I will try to please you
your happiness
is my happiness
my happiness
could be your happiness
keep me in corn chips
enjoy your own world
allow me mine
take time for yourself
allow me mine
the great man sings
what a wonderful world...
After She's Gone July 2003
When do I examine
whether I am wrong?
After she's gone?
Realizing
in sudden spurts
surfing my wake
gave her more freedom
than
sitting on the dock
without a boat
When does she examine
whether she's wrong?
After I'm gone?
Principle
and pride like knives
in my side
fuel my delusion
cause me to
make decisions
without caution
When do I examine
whether I am wrong?
After she's gone?
A fish nearly caught 07 June 2003
The world feels different this morning
Like a fish nearly caught
Feels about it's liberation;
hook firmly, permanently, disfiguring it's mouth
trailing leader and line
through unconsidered waters.
Does it matter when it's over
that you fought the good fight
if you lost?
Does time itself matter
when it's over?
I'm betting this morning on platitudes
like "endings are only beginnings" and
"hope springs eternal" and
whose ceiling is this and whose floor?
You gave me my walking papers last night.
It seems that I am an albatross
laboring under the misconception
that I could be a doorway for you
into a brighter future.
But I am no portal for you
nor, evidently, you for I
but rather a stepping stone
alternately praised and cursed,
as you make your perilous journey
across the river of your life.
I thought I could be a bridge for you,
or a boat,
or that I could carry you
safely over the churning current.
But you have spurned my arms, my back,
declined safe passage in my company
for an as yet unknown better alternative.
To your credit you did consider me.
And to your credit you've let me go.
And to your credit I admire your bravery
As you walk away alone.
I am less angry than sad
to be left for nothing more
than an unknown, potential opportunity,
not choosing something, simply
choosing not me.
I am less bitter than scared.
I have for so long been able to consider
the future with only you in it.
So I'll watch you go,
you go girl,
and I'll pretend to be appreciated
and I'll blame you for hurting us both:
rejecting life's' need for tragedy
but acquiescing to the evidence
of its' existence.
And in years to come I will say
we could have been somebody:
should have, could have,
but for mistakes we both have made.
And maybe in years to come
this feeling of loss will be supplanted
by events yet to unfold.
And you will find the meaning and the love
that I cannot provide you
and I will travel directions
hitherto unconsidered.
And this mornings' different feeling world
will come to seem familiar
and we will remember one another
fondly.
A Poem Written While Skating July 2003
The rising tide did not lift me
to a pinnacle above the sea
it left me here with you
wondering what to do
like the holdin' of a ticket
in a station, ten minutes
after the train bearing your fate
slowly slipped away
but we rejoice when we are desperate
that we are not among the victims
of the rising tide that swallowed them
and washed their names away
Sun May 11
What Tara is to Tarahaute
What Tulsa is to Tuscaluga
What sin city is to Cincinnati
What Bonn is to Bonifacious
What Kent is to Kensington
What Reed is to River's Edge
That's what your love
Is to real love
That's what your care
Is to comfort.
What rock is to metamorphic
What breath is to atmosphere
What Saturn is to the galactic
What I am to the biosphere
What a mile is to the speed of light
What a watch is to eternity
That's what your love
Is to real love
That's what your concern
Is to caring.
Scratching your back Jan 2003
An hour of scratching your hands and back and arms,
keeping you from vertigo,
an act of friendship and grateful parenthood
and responsibility.
You, fighting to remain coherent,
to assure me of your fortitude, of your manliness.
Beautiful moments.
Satisfying parental recompense.
What a funny thing to outlast your son,
to say, "what if we needed to stay awake,
to walk home through a darkened city
what good would you be?"
and you sitting straight up and saying,
"I'd be good for three hours",
and then dropping back to the pillow
reaching an arm out to be scratched.
What a funny holiday this is.
How unusual to not be alone.
How funny not to be talking to myself.
How great to be necessary,
to be sitting here sipping wine feeling necessary,
feeling like laughing, smiling, jubilant and peaceful.
You are snoring,
finally at peace with the beers that tormented you earlier.
And I am finally able to acknowledge the beers in my own system.
I can let the dull anesthetic swim of the world overwhelm me
knowing all is well with the world for now.
Let tomorrow bring what it may the moment rules.
Our magical time together
shortens hour by hour.
But I fell so satisfied
that this time is not lost with me
but lives on
inside my son.
I'm not one for sentimentalizing the "blood" thing
but I do appreciate the power of shared experience.
It lives even when you don't,
which, of course, you won't forever.
But the act of shared experience,
the power gained in an experience shared,
lives on
to be told and shared and used and emboldened
and is, in the end, a testament,
a marker placed in the vast expanse of time,
that living occurred:
joy was experienced,
hopes and dreams were shared,
blood ran through people,
emotions existed,
will was exercised in the great expanse that is wrongly characterized as nothing.
Sleep sweet product of the best intentions of good people.
Sleep a sweet respite
from the nagging questions of wakefulness.
Pass to the awake the burden
of remaining restless
over the questions of the soul,
of the rightness of being,
of the ever-present regret of acting in a world demanding constant compromise.
Sleep while you can.
The final sleep is a long way off
and you will need your strength.
Witnessing the transition to self actualized being is an invitation to letting go
In a weird sense it is an invitation to death
the final goal
the invisible barrier
resisted for reasons beyond ourselves
but not for reasons real to ourselves.
Kuala Lumpur 2003
Getting drunk with your son
Half way 'round the world
Hearing truth emanating
From his lips
Realizing
That you've been a party
To the creation of a whole human being.
How satisfying
How pleasurable
How it finishes a task set out for yourself
So many years ago
What relief, what pride, what accomplishment.
The waning moon engulfs the eternal
The waxing moon stirs and arises hungry
For the whole world.
A man is complete if he witnesses the entirety of the cycle.
The son's hunger replaces the diminishing appetite of the father.
The son's insight augments the narrowing visions of the father.
Balance.
The world is always an unstable place,
Slippery,
things pushing and pulling one off balance.
But balance is all there is
To living.
Breath Of A Butterfly 11 07 2002
The breath of a butterfly
The weight of shadows
The strength of a spider's leg
The sound of a feather
The color of crystal
The taste of mist in the air
The softness of the soul of my son
The gentleness of his intention
Up against a world
Of shards
And unmasked fiendishness
And single-minded alleyways
A boy like that
Will tell lies if he needs to
Will drain bottles in pursuit
And smoke bowls in search
Of the place he can feel
The breath of a butterfly
On the Day I Die
Rumi 1240 AD
Ubiquitous connections 2002 August 18
Ubiquitous connections
Building the cobbler's shoes
Unseen providers
Hidden in walls and floors
Clean water spewing
From a magician's faucet
Invisible electrons
Racing through hidden wires
Exciting the filaments
Turning our nights into days
No more chamber pots
No more firewood for the stove
No more coal for winter heat
No more isolation when you
Can share your voice
Across the world in seconds
The miracles that make us gods
Are hidden in our walls and floors
They are silently paraded
Underground
Or through the vaporous air
To perform when commanded
Like the cobbler we wake up
To warm homes
And well lit closets
And clean toilets
And entertaining boxes
And yet
Unlike the cobbler
We seldom notice
Not dog enough 10 Aug 00
You need someone to
Lick the hand that beats them
Worship the grounds you walk on
Forgive you when you're gone.
Well baby,
Maybe,
But I'm just not dog enough
For your kind of rough.
I ain't that tough
Nor dog enough.
Seeing One Color In White 7-30-00
Metaphors
Must be a safe way
To cloak the truth.
One step removed
But one step better
Than expressing nothing
I am standing under
The heavy end of a waterfall
Trying to catch it
One drop at a time
Blinded by the sun
I seek the vision
To see just one color
In the blaze of white
To find the part of me
Untouched by you
Is just not something
That's possible to do
How could you let me go. 08 02
I don't buy lottery tickets.
It's just not gonna be me. I'm invisible in the one in a million stadium.
I do buy the blues and I always thought that this too
just couldn't be me
wouldn't be me.
Every one knew but us, you know,
every one knew that we, us two, me and you were found to be
bound to be
bound.
Together.
And the last time we split
another final time
who was to know it was for real?
You left.
This time when I said go you went.
When I said come back you were gone
long gone.
When I said, "please"
you patted me on the head and went off to your other man
your other life
forming
crystallizing as we speak
on the curled edges of our fading past.
Imagine this scenario:
a life constantly forming
rearranging
changing apartments
changing direction
filling in the past with a mostly opaque covering of the present.
Imagine
being that past
being filled in on. Filled in on. Filled in on.
Give my regards to the fucking sun
and move on.
I'm an archive. I'm archive man.
Remnant man.
If I retain idealistic hope I could possible achieve kitsch
or less intriguing: remembrance
or better: antiquity
or worst: collectable.
I may someday wash up on a remote beach in Mexico
to be spied by couples paying dearly to buy a piece of meaning for their pathetic lives.
There I may actually be misconstrued as romantic.
Ok. That really doesn't bother me so much
so much as
so much of you
not wanting me. Same thing I guess.
Maybe I'm just confused
feeling used
abused
boozed
unable to fathom how it could be
how you could see
to not see
that its impossible
that given the option of me
you are letting me go.
Truth 2002 08 16
Truth does not cry its' own name from the mountaintop. It does not rise like a thousand birds, simultaneously, slow motion, from Lake Titicaca. Truth is not blind. It does not wear plaid, is not sad or glad or good or bad. It is never pissed off or mad. It is not a movement or fad. Has never been the prerogative of my dad. Oh no, not that. Truth is not obvious. Not ostentatious. Not out there in your face, at the front of the race, carrying roadside flares just in case it's momentum should cease so we could leave it in place like the dearly departed deceased, charging past, no rear-ending, truth everlasting, upending, like snow flakes descending it has no real ending, depending, depending, depending my friend. Truth does not wear yellow sports jackets to nice restaurants. Truth has socks that match if it has socks at all. Truth does not play ball. Truth is a free lunch. It does not heal all wounds. It is not at all like a stinking box of chocolates, each nasty pastel inside a lesson you don't want to learn, a nougat you don't need stuck behind your teeth, each surprise filing enough to turn your stomach upside down, inside out, outside in. Like maps where south is north and, ya, I get the "centrist" message but it still gives me vertigo and what use is truth if you're spewing projectiles? What use is truth if it uses up your life looking for it? What use is truth if you have to burn the planet to find it, move a mountain to see how it's built, drain the sea to see how deep, kill the man in your vain attempt, your tame attempt, your insane attempt, your lame attempt to see a heart beat. The truth will not be advertised. It will not be spun or sung or hung on the shed to dry. It is not obvious. It cannot be seen through any machine. It is not like a bug splattered on a clean windshield holding up a sign saying, "here I am". It is not a bird in your fireplace, a bat in your bedroom, a yellow jacket in your bottle of coke, a dead mouse in your peanut butter waking you up, shaking you up, taking you up to some lofty place that it has prepared for you. Truth cannot be shaken, cannot be shaken though it's often aching, quaking, more often forsaken, it cannot be shaken. It cannot be taken, only given, only then partaken, only then examined, poked and shaken, only then when I tell you mine will you know, for a fact, will you know, if I'm fakin'. Truth cannot be seen through pain. A tooth ache obscures it. It cannot be felt by anyone who drank too much the night before. It cannot be known by those who's' shoes don't fit, who's hemorrhoids don't allow them to sit, who's face sports a zit. It cannot be heard by women with cramps, lonesome children at camps, gaseous gramps, desperate vamps or hungry tramps. The truth cannot be felt or known or heard or seen by anyone or anything. As long as you're living, as long as you try, truth will continue to pass you by. Because, you see, it's really no more than a big fat lie.
2000 06 20 A moment in my tree
I sat in my tree tonight
With the pastel frosting of sunset
Covering the dark green forest below
It was so sweet
It reminded me
Of melancholy, bittersweet
Times of my youth
And my head was my own again
{for a moment}.
report to anne 13 aug 95 Scott Hagg
skated in the rain today
felt like something I used to do
even before the rain
the air was wet
dark wet
warm, sticky wet
womb wet
primordial wet
and then the rain came like a baptism
realizing it's potential
a warm gush from the heavens
wet
wet like desire
mother nature's tepid invitation
and I skated, hydroplaning, eagerly obliging
mouth open
drinking the wet that drenched me
spinning through the thick curtain of water
happy
in an insane kind of way
happy
to be happy that way again
finding the pavement like ice
frictionless
more water than street to deal with it
standing water
becoming instant lakes
the darkened day illuminated by lightening
the stillness illuminated by gusting wind
I was illuminated by sensuality
the machine of muscle cooled by the reassurance of mother ocean
all the mouths of my body that open to water
gurgling, spurting, laughing
singing as they held aloft this brain
pleasing it with tricks
and dances born of ecstasy
once again balance became god
and I was determined
to dance a water dance
until the rain stopped
or the walkman was destroyed.
Untitled by Tangie A.
In
my mind
I've already been there
I remember smelling the salt in your hair
When even your skin
Tasted like the beach
I remember not being
Just out of reach
In Isla Mujeres
We met for a night
The waves whispered to us
You are here
This is right
I find myself unable
To continue or end
Or perhaps I'm unwilling
To stop remembering when
On the island of women
We met in my mind
When there was nothing or no one
To leave behind
When your world
And my world
Did not collide
I will remember it always
But only in my mind.